Going through a divorce is never easy, but it’s especially difficult when you have kids. No matter how mutual the breakup is between you and your spouse, the divorce process will be a tough one on your kids. However, there are a few things you can do throughout the divorce process that will make things a little more manageable for your kids and help them get through it. Here are 5 tips you can use if you find yourself going through a divorce when you have kids.
1. Remain Civil with Your Partner
One of the most important things you can do is remain civil with your partner. No matter what your spouse may have done, you’ll want to remain civil to them, at least in front of your children. Children aren’t old enough to grasp the complexities of an adult relationship and all they see if their two parents fighting and being mean to one another. This will make the divorce even harder on them. If you have to fight with your spouse, do it when you’re sure the kids aren’t home. Otherwise, keep things as cordial and friendly as you can manage whenever your kids are within earshot.
2. Talk to Your Kids
A common mistake among parents going through a divorce is not talking to their kids. They try to hide everything or pretend that everything is okay. Even if kids don’t know exactly what’s going on, they can pick up on emotional cues and sense that something isn’t right. By not talking to them you are only leaving your children confused and making this process harder. Talking openly with your kids is a difficult challenge, but you should sit down with your kids and explain to them in simple language what’s going on. They may get upset, but this is an important part of the healing process. Here are some tips you can use for talking to your kids about divorce.
3. Find a Support System
Going through a divorce is often messy and stressful. If you don’t have some support on your side, you’ll have a hard time managing it all. This then leads to you being unable to fully help and care for your kids. To have more time and energy to be there for your children, you should find a support system to help you get through this divorce. This could be a close friend, a family member, or even online support groups. Sometimes just having someone to talk to can lessen a lot of the stress and allow you to let go of it whenever you’re spending time with your kids.
4. Talk to a Lawyer About Visitation
In divorces with children involved it’s common for one parent to get custody of the kids while the other gets visitation rights. If this scenario will apply to you, you should speak to a lawyer about how the entire process works. You’ll want them to help you either figure out your own visitation hours, or the hours of your spouse.
According to Adams Law Group, “Generally, the courts will make every effort to have the child spend time with both parents, as long as this is considered to be in the child’s best interests. Once the court issues a visitation order, both parents are required to comply with that order.” A good lawyer will help you navigate all the legal jargon surrounding the divorce, so find a good one as soon as you can.
5. Focus on the End Goal
Finally, when going through a divorce it’s important that you focus on the end goal. So many little details and problems are going to arise throughout that it’s easy to become distracted and lose sight of the finish line. Remember why you are getting divorced and how you want your kids to grow up. Keeping these goals in mind will help you focus your attention and eliminate some of the noise.
Making Your Kids a Priority Through the Divorce
Divorce is ultimately between two spouses, but everyone around you gets impacted. This is even more true for your children, who are suddenly facing a very different world than the one they are used to. It’s hard to make the divorce process easy on your kids, but you can at least aim to make it a little easier. The keys are communication, patience and a strong support system. If you can keep the above tips in mind while you’re going through your divorce, hopefully your kids will be able to handle it just a little bit better.
Article Submitted By Community Writer