There’s a bit of controversy when it comes to the exact nature of the divorce rate, but one thing that’s certain, it’s common. Roughly 1 million children a year in the U.S. deal with parents getting divorced, and it can be a rough situation to navigate for everyone involved. Here are some ways that you can ensure that you make the divorce process and transition as smooth as possible for your children.
For one thing, if there’s any history of abuse or similar concerns, don’t feel that you have to try and “make good” during the divorce process. It’s paramount to make sure that everyone feels safe and comfortable at this time. It may be a good idea to seek out Atlanta restraining & protective orders lawyers if you’re in a similar situation. With this said, though, it’s not healthy or legal to use this as a threat or means of leverage if there’s no true risk of harm involved with either partner.
This goes into another theme that is going to pay dividends when it comes to a healthy divorce environment—leaving emotions at the door as much as possible. This isn’t going to always be possible, but too many people go into a divorce feeling that they have been wronged, and now have the opportunity to “get back” at their former spouse through a prolonged case or trying to get as many assets as possible. Kids’ Health has a good set of rules of thumb when it comes to these things:
- Keep visible conflict, heated discussions, and legal talk away from the kids.
- Minimize the disruptions to kids’ daily routines.
- Confine negativity and blame to private therapy sessions or conversations with friends outside the home.
- Keep each parent involved in the kids’ lives.
Let’s break down each of the points. The first one is probably the most obvious one. Depending on the child’s age, they may not be able to fully comprehend what is going on and trying to get them involved, or worse, using them as bargaining chips, only serves to create a confusing and potentially traumatizing experience. We will discuss later how you can find emotional support, but through your children is not the way.
In terms of disruption, you need to remember that divorce is not just about emotion, but transition. If you were moving but were still together, there would still need to be some adaptation. Keeping the daily routine as close as possible to the norm gives the kids a bit of normalcy to hold on to.
Negativity is a natural part of a divorce, but the last thing you want to do is give the impression to children that this is in some way their fault or related to them at all. This is why finding an alternative outlet is best. Finally, just because you are no longer a couple doesn’t mean you don’t have responsibilities to your children. Finding a way to balance time will help create a positive family framework for years to come.
One thing we should talk about as well is what happens when the dust settles regarding divorce. After a divorce, even an amicable one, it can be difficult to stay positive. This does make sense after all. Not only is there an emotional toll when it comes to the divorce process, but there’s also a practical one as well. For example, you may get child support, but before, you and your partner may have had an even split when it comes to maintaining a house or similar duties, and now you have to manage them all on your own.
There are a lot of things you can do to try and work towards positivity. As a good start, for handling the logistical change, start writing down various notes and questions that pop up so you make sure you’re constantly improving and adapting to your new lifestyle. Another good thing to do is have some sort of plan to manage things when you do get emotional. It’s okay for it to happen, you just need a plan. Ideally, you will want to have a mental health professional on hand, but failing that, unplugging yourself from the computer or TV or finding a quiet hobby to indulge in can help as well. Remember, a major part of creating a good environment for your children post-divorce is making sure you are in a good place mentally as well.
Article Submitted By Community Writer