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Parenting techniques you can employ for dealing with a perfectionist child

by DrPrem Jagyasi

No child is born with perfectionism. It is only when you encourage false ideas of perfectionism that it grows in your child. At times, parents do not realize that they are developing impractical tendencies in their child by giving way to perfectionism. Here are some parenting skills that can help you when dealing with a perfectionist child.

Develop a connection with your children

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For understanding your children better; connect with themand take part in activities that they like. Talkabout their fears and stress, as this will help you in maintaining an emotional connection with the children. Your love, interest and guidance will make them act smoothly in the face of difficult situations.

Stop feeding perfectionism

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If your child wants his/her dinner plate to be arranged in a specific manner and shouts or cries for not having the same, do not feed your child’s perfectionism by arranging the plate according to their demand. Instead, tell your child that to eat the food the way it is served or else, he/she gets no food at all. By doing so, you inculcate in your child the skill to bend over difficult demands and be adjusting.

Teach your child to focus on working and not the result

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Your child may start anticipating failure in his work or holding himself responsible for any team failure no matter what,and then the child fills up with aggression. In such a case, you need to teach your child that it is not possible to win eachtime and all that matters is that he tried his best. This attitude to learn from failure can lower the child’s burden and make him feel comfortable.

Give an example from your experience

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When your child gets angry on little things whenhe fails to do something the way he wanted to, sit down with him and cite an example from your own personal experience about a failed attempt and how after regular practice you managed doing it well. This will create a bond between you and your childand help him understand that failure is not an end of everything.

Perfectionist children are over anxious and mostly they focus more on mistakes rather than their successes. They set impractical goals in life for themselves and if they lack in reaching the set goals, they experience anger, frustration and even depression.

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